It's Been Forever I KNow

Hi Blogging Friends! I know it's been forever since I posted. Things have been totally hectic and finding the time to think has been hard, much less finding the time to put those thoughts into some sort of coherent piece that you could read.
Anyway, I promise to be back to normal blogging soon, but I wanted to ask all of you to pray for my family. My Grandpa Cockman passed away on the 4th. He and my grandma would have celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary in December. He was ready, and he was at peace with it, but we are going to miss him. Thank you so much for your prayers!

I Am A Promise

I am a promise
I am a possibility
I am a promise
With a capital "P"
I am a great big bundle of potentiality
And I am learning to hear God's voice
And I am trying to make the right choice
I am a promise to be anything God wants me to be

Last night I went to Raegan and Trace's end of year program at school. Very, very cute. Lots of laughs had by all. But it also held a great message. The song above was the theme of the whole program. It's just a catchy little tune but look how true it is.
Each and everyone of us is a promise. If we surrender all to God, the possibilities are limitless. Jeremiah 29:11 says this, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end."
We have an expected end. God knows just how each of our stories will end. And He wants peace and not evil in our lives. We just have to trust in that promise. We have to trust that He is in control.

Anything Is Possible

Matthew 17:19-21:
19Then came the disciples to Jesus apart, and said, Why could not we cast him out?
20And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.
21Howbeit this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting.


Well blogging buddies, I know I have been pretty much silent lately. Life has been going by at a hectic pace that I can barely keep up with. I've started dating a really great guy named Shawn. I'm definitely not going to rush anything because I want everything to be in God's timing, but he is definitely a blessing in my life right now, and Alaena adores him, so that's definitely another plus.
Also, being that Alaena is my child who is JUST LIKE ME, she has been fighting allergy season hard. We've gone through sinus infections, bronchitis, strep, thrush triggered by the medicines that fight the aforementioned illnesses. Plus she's starting to hit the "Mommy is the only person who can make me happy stage." So the screaming it has commenced at my house, but I have to admit, it's nice to be the person who makes her happy, although it also makes it a bit difficult at times.
So there's a lot going on where I'm asking God for direction and help. I want to do what He wants me to do. I want to show Alaena the right way.
You're probably wondering what the verses above have to do with all of this, but I guess my biggest problem these days is belief. I mean I believe the big stuff. I know Jesus died for me. I know He rose again. I know He saved me.
But at times I have problems believing that He could still have this really awesome plan for my life. I mean, I know I'm forgiven for the past. It's the past. But now things are starting to happen, things are starting to look like they have potential and to be completely honest I'm scared to death because of all the "WHAT IFS?" And these verses have kept popping up in sermons lately.
I was even saying them to Shawn THIS MORNING (because he's starting a business and really believes its the way God is leading him so pray for him, but more on that later). The thing is, I've heard them. I've even passed them onto the next person, but I'm not applying them to my life. I'm just sitting there saying, "What if this goes wrong like the last time?" But Jesus said I can MOVE MOUNTAINS. I just have to have the faith to do it. I just have to trust in EVERYTHING He said and know that NO MATTER WHAT, He'll be there to catch me even if I fall.
I guess what I'm saying is that I want to take those steps of faith. I want to put the work that's required into it. So pray for me. Pray that I take the steps God wants me to, and that I won't sit here wondering "What if?"

Satan Can't Get Me

John 10:28And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.
29My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand.
30I and my Father are one.

Do you ever have those days where you don't "feel" saved? You woke up on the wrong side of the bed, and everything seems to be going wrong. Your socks don't match, your hair is a frizzy mess, you spill Dr. Pepper all down the front of your shirt, and you barely make it to work because some crazy person on a cell phone cut you off. And on days like that, the last thing you want to do is the "Christian" thing.
To be honest, you want to cuss and cry and whine. And you want to make somebody else's day just as bad as the day your having. Because after all, misery loves company!
But being saved isn't about how you feel, thank the Lord. It isn't about our doing every little thing right. It isn't about being perfect (although that's what we all should strive toward.)
Being saved is about being held in our Father's hand. And no matter what we do, no matter how far we fall, God's hand is a place that no one can touch us. Once we are held in God's grasp, no one can remove us from that grasp. We are held there in love.
I don't know about you, but that's an amazing thought to me. I look back over my life and see all the many times that I've failed Him. But in the midst of those failures, He has held me. He has picked me up and dusted me off and said, "I forgive you. Now go and sin no more."
I'm amazed at my Father's love. I feel cherished knowing that I'm in His hands. How about you?

Unlikely Heroes Are God's Likely Candidates

Yesterday morning I got to go into my Uncle Joel's Sunday School class. Normally I'm teaching, but I didn't have any students yesterday, so I got a break. And although I believe that those I normally teach should have been in Sunday School, I think that God had a hand in my being in my uncle's class yesterday. Because I got my toes stomped a bit. Or a lot actually.
He talked about Gideon in Judges chapter 6. Now we all know Gideon, he was the guy who God used to defeat the Midianites with an army of 300 men who were armed only with broken pitchers, trumpets and lamps. But before Gideon became the man God used, he was the man who begged God to prove Himself.
See, Gideon was pretty much a chicken. When we are first see Gideon, he is threshing wheat in a winepress, trying to hide it from the Midianites who had the Israelites held captive. The Midianites were most likely trying to starve the Israelites out. They didn't want those Israelites getting strong enough to defeat them. So Gideon had evidently grew a small amount of wheat and hidden it from the Midianites and he was threshing it where no one would find him. Basically he was just trying to lay low. Just trying to get by.
But God had a different plan for Gideon. He wanted to use him to defeat the Midianites. And no one was more surprised about God's plan than Gideon himself. He was like, "Me? You can't mean me? I'm the least of the least. I come from a poor family. And I'm the least important one in that family."
But God continued to tell Gideon that He planned to use Him. But Gideon still resisted. He kept asking God for signs. He put out his fleece and had God prove himself, not once but twice, and that was after he talked to the angel of the Lord FACE TO FACE.
It's easy to sit here and think, how could Gideon have been so doubtful. It's easy to get a holier than thou complex and say, "Well, if I had been Gideon, I would have rushed right out and done what God commanded, no questions asked."
But how many of us really would have. How many of us have things that we know God wants us to do, but we sit in our comfort zones saying, "Are you sure God? I mean, I'll go if that's what you really want, but do you mind giving me a sign or a million? Because I want to make sure this is YOU talking God." And while we're sitting there begging for a sign, the work God has for us is not being done.
I've definitely been challenged to trust God more and question less. I pray that each of you will be challenged today as well!

Are They Trials or Testimonies?

I'm not sure if I have mentioned my brother's best friend Bobby on here before. He and my brother have been buddies all of their lives. They got into trouble together as youngsters, made some dumb decisions together as teens, and they were both called to preach as young adults. Currently they are in the same Bible College.
This past weekend Ben and Bobby came home to discuss the possibility of having a youth revival at my church with young preachers from the college. This has been okayed, and I'm very excited about it. Prayers for the revival starting now would be very much appreciated.
Anyway, back to Bobby, he preached yesterday morning at my church, and let me tell you what, for a 21 year old "kid" he STOMPED ALL OVER MY TOES. It was an AWESOME message.
And you know what, he gave me some perspective on some things. If any of you have been reading my last several posts, you know that things have been a bit crazy around here lately and that the whole situation with Alaena's dad has been a bit up in the air.
And I'm not going to lie. I've really been stressing it. Because I just don't understand it all, and I want an answer. A clear answer as to how to handle the situation, and right now I don't have that. And I've seen this time of not knowing as a trial that I would just rather get past.
But Bobby's message pointed out yesterday. Trials are times that make us grow. Trials are times that give us the testimonies that we use to give hope to others who walk down the same paths we are on after us.
And I can't say that I understand what's going on around me any better than I did before. But I can say that I'm trusting in the Lord to use it to make me stronger. I'm relying on Him to make this trial a testimony. Because no matter what, I can look back over every part of this situation, and I know that the Lord has been by my side. And He will always be there.
I don't know what you're going through today, but trust me, the Lord is there, and He is using this trial to make you stronger. He is giving you a testimony to help other brothers and sisters along their way! Just trust Him.

An Update

To all, well, I know it's been a week since my last post. A lot has been going on since then. Some really good stuff, some really bad stuff. Just a lot. Anyway, I don't have much time this morning, but I kind of wanted to give you a little update.
Mark's trial was continued until May so it's another period of waiting and wondering what is best on that front. I talked to him, and he seemed to be on cloud 9 about it for a few hours saying that God was on his side.
I'm not sure what happened after that, but the next day he called me, and his words were almost indistinguishable, and I could tell he'd taken something. And he was ranting about how the world was against him.
When he gets like that I dont' really know what to say. Because in my mind it's very obvious that God has given the boy more chances and has kept him out of harm so many times, but it's like Satan has him so bound in deception that he can't see the truth.
And last Thursday he got to his lowest point. He went out onto his parents property and slashed himself up, intending to bleed to death. His mom found him in a puddle of blood and called 911. Fortunately they got there in the nick of time, and he's now in the hospitals mental care facility.
His only words to his mom have been that he wanted to end up in the funeral home, not the hospital. I ask that all of you would keep both him and his family and Alaena and myself in your prayers.
As I've said many times before, I don't understand this deep level of Satan's deceptive power. But I do know the only one who can free Mark from this. And he needs that freedom more now than ever.